Day 6: If I ever run for President…

15 Feb

Day 6 of this writing journey happens to fall upon President’s Day, so it’s only natural that I ruminate about the importance of our past leaders and the impact of this next Presidential election coming up. I could also lament our lack of unity as a nation, or our love of celebrity over compassion (even in political elections).

I could certainly write about some serious issues in a heartfelt way.

Instead, I think I shall present to you part of my platform if I should ever run for President of the United States.

If I was ever so dumb to do so, I think these would be some of my promises:

1. Restaurants cannot run commercials after they have closed for the evening. (Making people want food when they can’t have it is just wrong.)

2. Pay for teachers and firemen will be increased. I will in turn dock all members of the Khardasian clan (and probably Adam Sandler).

3. I can’t make college free.But I can install a one-free-taco-a-day program.

4. Star Wars Day will be a national holiday.

5. And also the day after Alabama wins any college football national championship.

6. There will be some sort of fine for posting inane, uneducated posts on social media. (I’m certain this will create a moral dilemma as I wrestle with constitutional rights vs. stupidity. But I’ll come up with something.)

7. Under 12? No cell phones for you. (Again with the constitutional rights. But, really, they’re kids.)

8. Madame President shall have a personal barista. And bartender.

9. I will go on a Cheryl-across-America Tour to meet all of my constituents and fellow citizens. This will mostly take place at beaches.

10. No one can bring up old college stories or pictures of anyone running for President.

What do you think? Wray 2016?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

abraham2

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: